Why Do Men Lie
Why do men lie? How to recognize the lie of a man? What are the signs of a man’s deception? It is the inherent nature of women to doubt men. And this is not surprising. After all, the way guys often conquer the hearts of women is not always in a truthful manner: they exaggerate their earnings, are silent about their shortcomings, at the same time have an affair with a number of women, use flattering, but deceitful compliments, captivate and enchant the ladies with their incantations – in short, every effort is to get their way.
Girls generally do not spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week 365 days a year with their loved one. And because you cannot be with him 24/7, how can you be 100% sure? It is therefore normal to sometimes doubt the honesty and loyalty of your partner. Especially if he gives you good cause to doubt him.
So, how do you know what you are dealing with: with lies or truthfulness? How do you determine whether a man is lying?
5 Characteristics of a man who lies
Visual signs to tell when a man is lying:
Enlarged eyes, raised eyebrows as if surprised and always partly open mouth with slightly lowered lower jaw (the state of protection and preparedness).
What to do when a man lies to you? You can ask him why he is lying to you. Tell him, without using any false excuses, you are well aware that he is lying and being dishonest with you. Tell him you can see it in his eyes. He may agree with you that he was lying, or simply deny it. Such tactics can work; or maybe not.
Of course, the easiest way is to simply ask the man if he is honest. It is however very rare for a liar to confess he lied, and if he confesses it is only to hide more deception.
Usually when men honestly admit to have lied, then it is to save the situation from deliberate deception and they quickly tell you what it’s all about, even if it is not profitable to them.
A staunch liar, even when caught on top of a naked woman, will always deny any guilt in his explanation. Besides, he will be angry and blaming the woman for all his deadly sins, including in that, that in which he himself is guilty of, namely betrayal.
If your husband in your presence often deceive others, cheat, or even only did it in the past, but you feel that he continues to deceive, it is necessary to seriously consider the necessity of parting with him.
If he only occasionally adorns reality with lies for no apparent reason, talk to him heart to heart, find out why he was doing it, and only then decide what to do.
But do not be paranoid without reason. Read the following 5 characteristics which are the most commonly found in men that lie and which in their entirety are real symptoms of male deception and indecency where you are concerned.
- His stories do not match. Ask the man about the situation you are interested in and listen carefully to the details. Wait a few days. Then go back to this situation and ask him gently to talk about it again. If he said in the beginning that he spent the evening with classmates, and in this version tells you with colleagues, and a third version with well-known businessman, be warned. Every time incompetent liars tell the “same” story, the details change. If a man is lying, you can follow him to find out the truth. And you can call some of his friends and colleagues who you know personally to clarify the inconsistencies. But be prepared that they may have been prepared by your guy about a possible interrogation from you beforehand and then they will also lie.
- He does not look straight into your eyes or he does not look at you long and attentive. Psychologists say that if someone does not look at another person’s face, he is hiding something. This can of course happen because he is modest, for example, this is often found in adolescents. If a grownup man however does not look into your eyes when he talks about an event, “he is probably concocting an excuse”, trying to deceive you. Womanizers know the secret of keeping eye contact to appear genuine. They look the woman in the eye, but their eyes are dilated because they have to make some psychological attempt to lie while looking into the eyes of the person watching them.
- He downplays the details. Experienced fraudsters know that the easiest way to catch them out is when it comes to the details, small inconsistencies in their story. That is why they deliberately talk about what happened in the most general terms. When a man is honest, he usually reports many different and specific details to explain an event. But when a man is lying and deliberately cheating, he talks in very general terms about an incident, mentioning 1 or 2 specifics to give credibility to his story and to avoid any deeper interrogation. How to deal with this kind of behavior? Ask more questions that in one way or another will clarify the picture of what you understand, i.e. more specific details on those things he spoke in general about.
- A man has previously lied or lies to other people. If the man has cheated on you with another girl, and has deceived her, then you will probably face the same fate. If the man in your presence is misleading other people, deliberately misleading partners, is unfair in his dealings with colleagues, plotting on the job, then expect a similar attitude towards yourself. These are indicators of general deceit and dishonesty: if he lies in small things, he will lie in big things.
- Your female intuition tells you that the man is lying. If your sixth sense tells you that your partner is lying, that he is deceiving you, then this is a very bad sign. It is very likely your intuition does not lie, not this time. And secondly, even if your intuition is wrong, it means that you do not trust this man and therefore you do not like him. If however you do not want to distance yourself from him because you love him, but do not trust him….what can you do? Talk to your man heart to heart, try to figure out the reasons for the distrust. Delve deep inside yourself when trying to identify the problem and make every effort to resolve it by considering all possible options for further developments.
If you’ve ever had your heart broken or been lied to by a man, you need to go watch this amazing video right now…
Beautiful women! Trust your man. Do not ever give him any reason to doubt your loyalty and honesty.
Statistics say that about 90% of men who have a serious relationship have cheated on their partner at least once. At the same time, statistics say 50% of women know for sure that their chosen ones are incapable of betrayal. Judging by the discrepancy in the data, women have too much faith in their partners, or deliberately continue with self-deception.
Despite the fact that cheating is a sort of betrayal, it cannot be denied that every action in our world has its own primary cause. Confronted with the act of betrayal, women often comfort each other by blaming it on the natural tendency of men who want to be in more than one relationship at the same time.
But when people are looking for adventure “on the side”, is it actually guided only by the call of nature, or is this action also due to psychological reasons?
There are a large number of factors that push people to commit adultery. As a rule in general, there are about 10 most common reasons why men cheat on good women.
So, why do men lie and cheat and in the process risk their stable relationships to chase after something temporary?
- Thirst for change
Look at family life through the eyes of most people: it consists of work, family obligations, solving everyday problems, relaxing in front of the TV or computer, family lunches and dinners, Sunday trips to parents, meetings with friends and very little adventure.
For many women, such a lifestyle seems very acceptable. Not because they are not interested in doing something away from home and hearth, but because it is the nature of the weaker sex to find their fulfilment through the family and motherhood, which brightens their daily routine. For men, family life often looks like a cage in which there is not enough fresh air and for survival they look for new emotions. And these new emotions often lead to betrayal.
They say that the revenge of women is terrible. The revenge of men has not really been characterized, but this does not mean that it does not exist. It may seem quite strange, but sometimes men only change because they want to take revenge on their significant other.
The cause of the revenge can usually be ascribed to feelings of jealousy. A man may think that you have changed him, you no longer love him or may leave him. This of course is painful to his pride and in his mind, if he changes, he restores his justice that had been violated.
- He is going through a crisis
Men need self-awareness. Unfortunately, not all men are willing and able to assert themselves through a career, wealth, or develop their own talents. It is much easier to be proud of themselves by breaking the heart of another woman. Rich soil for betrayal is at that moment he suddenly experiences a mid-life, spiritual or material crisis. When a man loses one of his support structures, it is vital for him to feel strong and important.
- Physical attraction
Fraud is intentional and thoughtless. Irrelevant betrayal often arises because of a strong physical attraction. A new colleague or friend can unintentionally evoke feelings in him that he did not feel for long time. His action is to give in to his raging hormones as very few of the stronger sex actually try to suppress the voice of their hormones.
- He is influenced by others
This may seem trivial, but according to statistics, those men who are good friends or have family members who do not differ in opinion about adultery will be more likely to change.
The fact is that the representatives of the stronger sex are natural rivals. It is important for them to feel that their lives are no worse than the lives of their close associates. And if, in addition, a good friend or an important person to the person you have chosen as partner is proud of his numerous affairs, your partner too will most probably try his hand in this.
- The wife no longer attracts him physically
If the intimate life of spouses runs under the auspices of monotony, sooner or later a man will want something new. However, this situation is not only a case of men’s tendency to change, but also women’s misunderstanding that the relationships must continually develop even after many years of marriage.
- Lack of attention
Men must be cared for, and cherished. A woman who performs a thousand other tasks at the same time, cannot always give all her free time and energy to her companion. Gradually, a man begins to feel unnecessary and redundant, and he decides to find attention elsewhere. Of course, from the perspective of women this is a sorry excuse for infidelity and is cowardly and selfish.
- Inferiority complex
The driving force behind many of our actions is how we perceive ourselves. A man may look sensible and self-sufficient, but the memory of what a woman once refused, still hurts his pride and confuses him. If your partner does not have enough confidence in his male strength and attractiveness, he will want to debunk his fears and doubts by getting involved in numerous affairs.
- Betrayal as a way of life
There is a category of men for whom deception and betrayal are not something they regard wrong or immoral. They simply cannot understand why would they want to dedicate their life to one woman if they have enough love for many? Men who choose this kind of behavior, where fierce emotions and adventures are at the order of the day, have mastered the ability to maintain balance between these two fires.
- He fell out of love
Despite the fact that love is the strongest emotion people experience, it cannot last forever. Sometimes the emotional threads that connect people lose their power and if a man does not understand how to bring the love back to life, he starts looking for it on the side. There is of course no guarantee that this new accidental connection will give him the desired feelings, but until he understands this himself, he will look for his non-existent ideal.
Most reasons explaining male deception are associated with the psychological characteristics of the stronger sex. Therefore, in many cases it is not always worth considering treason as an absolute betrayal by a loved one. Much more sensible, faced with such a painful phenomenon, try to put yourself in the shoes of a man and understand what really pushed him to this act.
Once you get to find out about the betrayal, it really does not matter how it happened: the husband himself told his story, or you caught him. The most important thing is you are now aware that he betrayed you and you need to do something. Yesterday you had a very normal family life not overshadowed by anything. Today, all that goes through your mind is the betrayal of your husband.
You are bursting with resentment, anger, trying to understand why this happened and who the culprit is. In such a situation, every deceived woman loses the ability to think clearly.
Everything men desperately want women to understand and accept about men…our deep & dirty desires, our hopes and fears and wants and needs..
We start reading women’s magazines, and buy new expensive clothes, change our hairstyle, clothing style or urgently start looking for a lover before we give up something.
The only thought that is in the mind of the deceived woman is: do not give up the man! We love him too much, is too attached to him, even though he is a villain, and renegade.
Normal female response to the knowledge of the betrayal is to cry a ton of tears, and urgently demands him to suspend all ties with the “other” woman. The woman lives in despair, constantly experiencing doubt and suspicion. All of this turns her into a pathetic woman with a suspicious mind, constant red eyes because of all the crying, and a hoarse voice due to the constant shouting.
The first few weeks after the betrayal are especially difficult. It is especially hard to bear if her husband has certainly not decided whether he wants to stay with her or go to his mistress. Living in such a “floating” state of mind will cause imbalance in the calm and cool woman.
Things the betrayed women should not do
1: Do not become a martyr.
Women like to wear the mask of a humiliated victim. Of course, this mask is not very appealing, but gives the wife some sort of comfort. Imagine the situation however for the man who lied and cheated on you when he comes home. He cannot decide if his mistress is worthy of a broken marriage and the subsequent rejection of an established family life. And then he meets an angry woman in the victim’s mask. The poor man lost weight since he was thrown out the door, and none of his explanations seem to get past the mask of female emotions.
However, the male guilt will not last forever. For a while, it will be to count the cost, but when he gets bored he will go back to his mistress where he is not accused of deadly sins every day.
Of course you are a victim. The victim of infidelity, polygamy, and a victim of society accustomed to men who lie in relationships. It is okay to feel sorry for yourself initially, but it will be far better for yourself to not keep on remembering it.
2: Do not expose your husband
This is the standard, but one of the worse mistakes of every betrayed woman. As soon as we find out about the betrayal, we try to catch him out again. We do not even think about what we do, and why should we, have we not been cheated on?
At night we sneak to check our husbands’ phones for compromising texts and outgoing calls. We do the same by checking his whole wardrobe, his wallet, his briefcase and anything else that may give us at least a clue.
But think, why are you doing this? To make sure your husband has changed? And to attack him with accusations? There is no logic in this as your husband who has been loyal for some time by now, will soon respond aggressively to your permanent suspicion.
So do not look for new evidence of a connection between your husband and another woman. Should this happen, there will be enough evidence for you. Resentment and bitterness of betrayal is completely futile especially when you’re working to regain confidence in him again. In addition, resentment and bitterness can lead to health problems.
3: Do not try to contact his mistress
Of course, the other women also, is looking for happiness, but the solidarity of women will not help you. You are the warring parties fighting for the trophy. Even if she wants to talk to you, it is still not worthwhile to “negotiate”.
It is pointless to think that the opponent will have a guilty conscience and present herself in your place. On the contrary, the exact opposite will happen. She will pretend to be the innocent victim, and present you to your husband as a hysterical and cruel bitch.
You do understand that he will then have to calm her down? It is therefore better to never make contact with the other woman and do not try to influence the relationship between them in any way. Collecting a plethora of information about her to analyze how she caught your man, is completely unnecessary.
4: No ultimatums
Try to not confront him with an ultimatum “It’s either me, or her” as much as possible. There is a very good chance that should you do this immediately after the betrayal, while your emotions are still very raw, he may very well say “Well, I choose her” and leave. So as long as you are still trying to understand what you are going to do, do not rush with any ultimatums.
5: No jealousy
Should you try to make your husband jealous, while he is still completely blinded by new feelings for his mistress, he may see your behavior as consent to a divorce and as your willingness to end this relationship and start a new phase in your life without him.
6: Do not ignore your own shortcomings
It is logical to assume that changes in your husband are to some extent to be blamed on you. Something made him look for “comfort” on the side. Maybe he does not get enough attention, you may have to pay too much attention to domestic problems and have completely forgotten the romance. In any case, it is not necessary to throw all the blame on the cheating husband, better analyze your own behavior and try to correct your mistakes.
Men and women lie
In the whole world there is hardly anyone who has not been deceived. Think of yourself or friends who, after being late for school, came up with a thousand reasons or excuses. Or your parents, to whom you said you were walking with friends, when in fact it was a guy. Yes, we have all lied at some stage in our life. But how do you treat a loved one who has deceived you?
Fact is, it totally depends on the situation. There are situations where it is very difficult to judge a person for lying. Let’s say he went to the store to get you a gift, and you call. As a result, in order not to ruin the surprise for you, he was forced to lie. A pregnant woman may ask her husband if she is beautiful. And a loving husband, despite all the factors associated with being pregnant that spoil the figure of his beloved, says she is just beautiful as before. This is actually deception. For some reason, in this situation however, we see nothing wrong with lying. Why is this?
Let’s see, what the word ‘lie’ means.
Lying is a statement that does not correspond to the truth and is consciously done (we know when we lie). That is, when a person cheats and does not feel any guilt, to him, he is not lying.
So, why do men lie more than women? Yes, all men lie more women. And it is not good to lie. But here men take refuge in their macho nature. In Buddhism there are 3 “holy” lies that can be used according to their religion:
- Save the family
- Keep someone’s friendship
- To keep the peace
In principle it is difficult to disagree with this. It is however better not to lie. When a man resorts to a lifestyle where he lies all the time, the truth becomes so foggy that after doing it for so long, he himself does not know where truth stops and lies start.
The reason why men lie is always the fear of being caught out and then held responsible for his act by being punished. Most likely there are some negative qualities in him you may not like, but since he cannot overcome these by himself, he tries to keep silent about them. This leads to insincerity. So if you cannot stand a lie, then you have to fight it.
Here is some advice for women about what to do when a man cheats:
- Analyze some lies
For example, when someone smokes and tells you that he is not smoking. He probably cannot overcome his dependency and tries not to upset you. Another example, you are waiting at home for a man and he says he is working late. But in fact he is with a friend. That lie is caused by the fact that the man is afraid to admit it, because you will scold him. And here the reason is that he has too little freedom to spend some time with a friend.
- Make decisions for yourself
You must decide what result would be acceptable to you. But remember that in the relationship the most important skill is to compromise. That is, a good compromise where the solution is acceptable to both people in the relationship. For example, he spent time with a friend, but not with you. It is then worthwhile to suggest to your beloved partner that the three of you should all meet and spend interesting times together. Or change your relationship and give him more free time. This way you also get free time which you can spend on stuff that interest you, for example your hobby.
- A frank conversation.
Because you have made your own decisions, you can start the conversation yourself. In this conversation, tell your partner that you have realized a lie on his part. Explain exactly what the lie is. During the process, try to confirm your words with the facts so that the man does not have the ability to manipulate the situation and get away with not giving you an answer. And so calmly and confidently you prove the existence of lies on his part.
- False feelings spoil the relationship.
Now explain to your partner that lying does not lead to anything good. After a little deception, there is more deception. And eventually you will stop understanding each other and have a dishonest relationship. Since you do not want this to happen, and he still hasn’t done so, ask him to first explain his actions. And then let him propose a solution to the problem.
5. Compromise and a worthy decision.
Most likely, the man will begin to promise that it will never happen again. Then offer him your solution which accommodates both of you. A solution which in his eyes will increase your self-esteem and will cause him to hardly ever want to lie in the future. After all, it is better to make amicable decisions between you. In rare cases, he will offer a solution that does not satisfy you. Then you must remember his lies and tell him that he does not have the right to demand so much. Then offer your own compromise.
Doing this will help you increase your authority in the eyes of a man. You are a beautiful and confident woman and this is your way of doing whatever you can to prevent a similar situation in the future. The most important thing is to try and never worry about it.
When men slightly distort information about themselves, they consider it a trivial matter. Assess how he dramatizes a little and exaggerates the extent of a real event. Men also like to embellish the happenings in their own life, making their performance even more meaningful. In some ways, both phenomena even have to do with each other. He wants to react by crying when real world events are violent, by in order to avoid tears, he starts to lie. This does not, however, detract from the pain experienced by a woman when she catches a loved one in a lie. Why do men lie? Let’s try understanding men.
There are 3 main reasons why men lie in relationships: psychology of the stronger sex
- To make an impression
While in the process of attracting the attention of the female, the man wants to score as many points as possible in the eyes of the lady he likes. His logic is simple – pull her in by any means necessary, fall in love, and then wait and see what happens. And at the beginning, this tactic often works. He laughs enthusiastically about his age, his status, his education and even his financial situation. What he however fails to understand is that his companion will most likely feel humiliated by the fact that he lied, instead of him relating the real state of his affairs.
- Men want to avoid consequences
Example: A man dreams of going fishing, but knows that his wife will be against it. He subsequently reasons it is better to lie after you have gone fishing under the guise of “business negotiations”. And the more a woman resists the desires of her partner, the less he will be inclined to be honest with her about his plans. He may under the guise of a reduction in wages, start saving money to respray his car. Who is to blame? The woman. A woman who sets too tight controls can cut her beloved’s throat. Saying it like it is, it is after all very unlikely that you will receive anything but dissatisfaction and oppression.
- Save his freedom
It also happens that a man lies about the details, even when he does not do anything you will object to. He says, for example, that he goes to work but then he goes to his parents. Or swears he drank a glass of milk for supper while he ate a pot of soup.
How to understand men when they lie: Most likely he tries to rebel against the excessive control of a woman in this childish way, fighting for every breath of freedom. How to recognize he is lying? As soon as he jumps off a subject, tries to explain something very complicated, or he starts to behave secretly, you caught him in the act! When a man really lies, his reaction will tell you everything about it. He may react with some aggression, starting to respond to ordinary questions with hostility or he may display behavior totally opposite to what is characteristic of him, like exaggerated attention. This is his way to try to compensate for a great sense of guilt.
What to do when a man cheats?
Our best advice is to sort things out. Do not keep a grudge. You may explode at the most inconvenient time and cause a scandal, making a fool of yourself. Once you have unpacked the basics, you start a frank conversation.
Sometimes a man lies to save himself. Not because he is a villain, but because he wants to protect his beloved woman from unnecessary worries, so that she does not get angry because of his mistakes. The man’s reason in this case is noble, though not justified. If you encounter such lies, it is better to talk honestly with a partner, in order to reach a consensus.
It happens that the lies of a man are nothing more than the consequence of poor education. Often the childhood of such men was not very rosy. They were often punished, and limited in deciding what they wanted to do, they learned how to get out, and then hide the truth. When such a man then chooses a motherly female as companion, who has everything to look after him and harass him, he can return to his behavioral pattern as a child.
If a man suffers from any of the different types of addictions, a lie in this case becomes a means of survival to him. Let’s face it, it is much easier to lie to a partner than to admit to a love for gambling or smoking of marijuana? The first step in this instance is the struggle with his addictions, rather than with his lies. And of course, the man himself must first want to get free from his addiction.
There is also a pathological need to deceive, of which the causes are deeply seated in the depths of his subconscious and are associated with a variety of child complexes. These kind of lies can exclusively be dealt with by specialists in this field, and even then it is not always successful.
Finally, the most common and painful cause of why men lie to women is the fact that the man is trying to hide his betrayal. In this case a really gigantic effort is required to restore the previous level of trust between partners. It is still possible if both are in agreement and the man is willing to change. The only time it may be better to end the relationship is when there is a repeated repetition of betrayal.
Every instance of deception is unique and therefore requires clarification of all causes and circumstances. To change the attitude of a man who lies and cheats is very possible, especially when both partners are inclined to constructive dialogue.
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