Turn Ons in Bed
When talking “turn ons in bed”, of course you want to be her/his number one. But how do you do that? Which ninja sex techniques do other women/men use? How can you know what this special person in your life really likes?
One of the most underestimated techniques used to spice up a relationship is dirty talk in bed.
Even though one of the biggest turn ons, many men AND women are afraid it may sound stupid or that the other person may be offended.
It does not have to be that way.
In this article you will learn sexy things to say while having sex without sounding stupid or be insulting.
Covered in this article:
Why Dirty Talk is Freaking Awesome
Reasons Why Men Talking Dirty To Women Works Well
7 Dirty Talk Tips for Men
Turn Ons in Bed for Him
Dirty Talk Tips for Women
Turn Ons in Bed for Her
Turn ons in bed: Why Dirty Talk is Freaking Awesome
When you think of sex, you are thinking of something physical.
Penises and vaginas?
2 bodies that move over each other?
This is how most men see sex. These men will never be good lovers. Let me tell you why:
Sex is a very “mental” experience for women
That means that if you want to physically turn on a woman and have great sex – the kind that makes her literally addicted to you – you have to stimulate her mentally.
So how do you do that? How do you stimulate her…mentally?
Simple: Dirty Talk
Dirty talk is one of the ways to turn on women and the best way to mentally stimulate a woman very well.
Reasons Why Men Talking Dirty To Women Works Well:
You make her feel attractive and wanted. Look. Normally you are a very neat and polite man. When you use dirty talk, you show her that you completely forget that ‘cleanliness’ and push it aside because she is so sexy. A major turn on for women…
You make her feel beautiful. Cosmopolitan covers, billboards and movies all tell her that she must be beautiful and sexy. When you ‘objectify’ her and use her as an object of lust, you validate that she is ‘good enough’ and that she is handsome enough to satisfy the image of a perfect woman.
You give her more confidence. Being found beautiful and wanted is always good for her self-confidence.
It is good for your sex life. It makes for more variety, more fun and she may also become more adventurous and behave more like you want.
Cool. But how do you do dirty talk?
7 Dirty Talk Tips for Men:
- How to use seductive talk
- Talk dirty with a lot of self-confidence
- Discover her limits when talking dirty
- How to make naughty talk dirty
- Language to use when talking dirty
- Make it personal
- Keep it simple
Learn how to speak erotic language to a woman, what women want to hear in bed and what you should and should not say (you will also get dirty talk examples).
- Seductive talk:
The tone of your voice is one of the most important aspects in dirty talk.
A BIG turn on, unless you use the “wrong voice”. She may laugh or even think you are a serial killer.
Every man has a good voice. But most of them use it completely wrong. They either sound like a little boy (high pitch), or even worse, not intelligible at all.
Here are 2 examples:
Bad voice: you talk fast with a high pitch voice
Good voice: Speak slowly with a deep voice and pause occasionally
Dirty Talk Audio
So, how do you get such a voice yourself?
It is a fairly complicated process, but the most important thing to focus on is this:
When you talk slowly, your voice automatically gets deeper.
But when you say something, you have to do it in the following way
- Talk dirty with a lot of self-confidence
Dirty talk to a female is not something you can do half-baked and then get away with it.
You will come across as insecure. And the result is often a lot of laughter. It can ruin the atmosphere so much that you stop having sex.
How to say something with confidence – even if you do not feel confident:
You may wonder how you can be self-confident if you have zero experience with it. And I totally understand what you mean.
This is one of those situations where this applies:
“Fake it until you make it” (pretend until you succeed).
Show some balls ok? Take a deep breath. And then say something which you think she may respond to well. Say it in a way that seems self-assured (even if you do not feel that way).
This is part of sexual self-confidence. Women love confident men as bees love honey. They are attracted to it and cannot stay away from it.
Talking dirty to someone is in itself a sign of sexual self-confidence.
The truth is that the more you use dirty talk as a turn on for women, the more sexual confidence you get. Even with sex the more you practice, the better you become.
- Find out what her limits are
Before you even start talking dirty in bed to your woman, you must first know what her limits are in terms of erotic language.
It differs from woman to woman.
Maybe she does not like the word “slut”…and if so, you do not use it (for the time being).
These are usually stupid little things. If you are in doubt whether you should say something, do not say it and wait with it. And then try it after a week or a month.
- When to make naughty talk dirty
Good dirty talk does not only depend on what you say.
Timing is a lot more important.
What is and what is not acceptable to her differs from moment to moment. You may consider saying “I’m going to fuck you until you cannot walk anymore” one of the hot turn ons, and that’s fine for some women. For others it is too much and it spoils the atmosphere.
But if you say she smells good when she is just about to reach an orgasm, for most women this is very lame.
A good rule of thumb is to use toned-down dirty talk, expressing what you want, before sex. Once you have sex use erotic talk to say what you like…
It is advisable that in the beginning you use more sensual words and phrases, instead of real horny talk.
That means you are more suggestive and careful than when you use very dirty talk.
For example, when you both still have your clothes on:
“You’ve been looking so sexy all day long…that really excites me…”
“I cannot wait to get hold of you and push you up against the wall…and then slowly pull back your head and kiss you slowly in your neck…then go down your body inch by inch…and…” (does this not sound like one of the best turn ons to use?)
When you say these kinds of things to a girl to turn her on you make sure she gets horny very quickly.
When to use dirty talk
You only use very dirty words when you are already having sex and you build it up, as it were. Start with sensual words and phrases. Then step by step you get more erotic, until you end up with sentences like:
“You are my dirty little slut”
So you start very slowly. And you build it up more and more as both get more excited.
- Use common language when you talk dirty
This is an important thing. When you use naughty talk, you should not be politically correct.
When talking dirty, words like vagina and penis are out of the question. This will dry her up faster than water in the desert.
Vagina = pussy
Penis = cock
Making love = fucking
- Make it personal
Pay attention to this. The following is the secret to make dirty talk awesome.
Imagine saying this:
“You’re a horny whore and I love to fuck you”
It is pretty insulting. Shit. She’s now even LESS horny.
“You are my horny whore and I love to fuck you”
This makes her excited.
How it works
The first example makes her feel cheap. In her head she is “a whore”. In the second example, however, she is YOUR whore, and THAT makes her special.
By carefully using the right words you can really say very rough things and get away with it.
- Keep it simple
When I talk about dirty talk, I’m often asked “what do I have to say” or “do you have any dirty talk examples I can use”?
But that does not matter that much. As long as you keep things simple everything works. The more complicated it is, the more you must think about it. Here follows some dirty talking lines that are actually very popular turn ons that you can start using:
Turn Ons in Bed to Seduce Her:
Dirty talk BEFORE foreplay:
“If you go on like this you are very naughty…and you know what happens to naughty girls…”
“You look hot”
“I get so excited and hard for you”
Dirty talk DURING foreplay
“You’re so nice and wet”
“I love how you taste”
“How you taste makes me so hard”
“I’m so excited and hard for you”
Dirty talk DURING sex
“You’re so nice and tight”
“Honey, you have such a nice tight and wet pussy”
“My dirty little girl”
“Babe, you are my dirty little slut”
It is much easier than you think. If you start using some of the most common turn ons you’ve learned above, you can start to say the more erotic things in no time.
Note one thing: After rough sex it is absolutely important that you make her feel ‘normal’ again with good after-play.
Use dirty talk together with other techniques to get better in bed and also get her into bed a lot easier. You may even end up having many other dirty things to do in bed.
Have you been brainwashed to believe girls don’t love sex and get offended by dirty talk? Believe it or not, women actually LOVE DIRTY TALK BUT ONLY IF YOU KNOW THE SECRETS TO MAKING IT WORK…How to Push Any Woman to THE BRINK OF ORGASM… BEFORE YOU EVEN TOUCH HER! Without her feeling degraded and without YOU feeling weird or self-conscious about it…
Dirty Talk Tips for Women
We’ve had the men…
A woman told me the other day that her boyfriend says he would really like it if she talked more in bed…she has no idea how to do that, and wondered if I maybe have dirty talk tips for women.
In essence she wanted to know:
How do you deal with something like that?
What can I say to a man?
How do I know what it is men want to hear in bed?
What do men not like to hear during sex?
Let’s now show the ladies how to talk dirty to a man in bed…
Tip 1: Be submissive
If you wanna talk dirty as a woman, it is important to realize this:
Most men are dominant. And most women submissive.
Men therefore set out to be dominant. You will subsequently have to learn how to talk dirty to your man if you want to arouse him more and keep him interested.
Tip 2: Dirty talk from porn?
Fact: All men watch porn. Some even while they’re in a relationship. Men are thus used to the things they see in porn and will not be surprised.
That means you can talk nasty to your man and get away with it. So do not be too sweet.
Just pay attention to the following:
Tip 3: Do not use “fake” dirty talk
There is one thing that will let your man lose interest in sex immediately. When you use dirty talk that does not seem spontaneous. Things like:
“I like it when your big cock is in my tight pussy”
That is far too much and too complicated. It comes across as if you have been thinking about it.
Instead, just keep it simple:
“You have such a tasty cock” (an instant turn on!)
Tip 4: Simple is better
The easiest onea are still the best:
“Harder” (the best turn on?)
Look, the most important thing is this:
Tip 5: Be LOUD
Men understand this best. You may have roommates or you are afraid that the neighbors will hear you.
But if there is one thing that men enjoy in bed, then it is a woman who is LOUD. The louder the better for them.
It shows that you enjoy it. Without having to use complicated words.
- Call him by his name
There are very few things in the world that men prefer to hear more rather than their own name, so if you can work his name into your sexy talk during sex, his interest will increase 10-fold…
He loves to hear his own name.
It does not mean you have to use his name in every sentence, just use it in your list of turn ons every now and then and he will thank you for it…
- Look at him when you say something to him
Women who are good at telling their partner exciting things come across as very sincere.
These women are congruent with what they say and look directly at their partner when they say something to him.
The danger with dirty talk is that when you mumble and do not speak to him directly, it seems unreal and most definitely not a turn on in bed…
You can prevent this by looking at him directly when you say something to him, because you will come across as confident and real.
- Tell him what you like
This is by far one of the most important tips.
Look. Men love to hear that you like something.
So once a man hears you say:
“Yes there…” or “I like it so much…”
He will then do exactly what you like so much.
And that’s fine right?
Exactly, and that is why saying what you like is such a great way to improve your sex life (even more).
- Keep it short
The moment you want to say something exciting to him, do not make a complicated and elaborate story of it.
As a result, dirty talk is distracting rather than exciting.
You thus achieve exactly the opposite.
Anything that can be said within ten words is good, preferably five. Any more than that will be a turn-off and not a turn on in bed.
Everything that falls outside of it quickly becomes long-winded.
Keep it short and simple, because of this it is much better with him.
- Build it up slowly with your partner
Suppose you have a steady partner and you have never said anything naughty to each other in bed.
Then it is better to slowly build up talking dirty to him, so you can discover in a relaxed way what he likes and dislikes.
This way you go just a little further each time to see which dirty talking lines are turn ons in bed and which do not get him excited.
Because if you go ‘all-out’ in one go, it can be so overwhelming for him that he withdraws from you and scares a bit.
As a result, you make the gap to use dirty talk in bed much smaller for yourself.
So even if you know he likes you talking dirty to him, make sure you build it up quietly and do not rush anything.
She froze up when he said “Talk Dirty To Me” but what she did NEXT will shock you and change the way men look at you forever . . .
Turn Ons in Bed to Seduce Him
Dirty Talk Examples for Women
For the sake of helping you as a woman easing into this, I start out with the “not-so-dirty”, progressively getting naughtier, with the last one “o-so-dirty” (you have been warned…
I will no longer keep you in suspense…
Relationship turn ons you can start using today:
“I had to think of you in the shower today”
This sounds very innocent, but do not be mistaken.
He responds to his fantasy, so he will immediately wonder what you did under the shower when you thought of him.
In fact, he will imagine it.
This sentence is perfect for when you send him a text message, because you subtly let him think of you in a sexual way.
“I want you…”
One of the best turn ons. Short, powerful and crystal clear.
Whisper this in his ear when you both have your clothes on.
(When it is certain that you are having sex that evening, you can even whisper this in his ear during the date, and immediately create desire in him)
This seemingly innocent looking sentence ensures that he immediately gets a sense of you.
“Tonight I will do everything you want”
When you tell him that you will do everything he wants, you are actually saying:
You are in charge.
Something that every man secretly wants.
Maybe this is not-so-dirty, but guaranteed that he’s going to like it.
“You are so good in bed”
Say this to him after a (heavy) romp.
This is a kind of verbal reward.
Most men are insecure about their looks, their performance in bed and whatever else you can name.
This is a simple way to ease his doubt.
“I am so wet”
A man loves to hear that a woman got turned on by him.
And although men are not the smartest, they know that women get wet when they are turned on.
In short, it is a mischievous way of letting him know that you are aroused.
“You are so sexy”
Men love compliments, who does not?
A man wants to be found sexy, who does not?
A man is uncertain about his appearance, who is not?
By saying that you find him (or his body) sexy, you give him a compliment, and his uncertainty vanishes.
“I like it when you…”
Say this to him during foreplay.
(if you want to do it right, whisper it in his ear as if it were the biggest secret in the world)
You give him the subtle hint to do what you like, and if a man really likes you, he will do this with love for you.
He wants you to like what he does.
In fact, he wants to be able to do this without you saying anything.
Perhaps you now think: “Is this real?”
Many women already do this, without having read an article on dirty talk.
But it is and remains dirty talk, the reason this works so well is because men love to hear their name.
Just remember to replace John with his real name 🙂
“Oh my god!”
How simple do you want it? Three small words that are a big gesture for him.
And it is crazy, because when he hears you say “oh my god”, he immediately feels GOOD.
He thinks: “Awesome, she likes what I do.”
Many men are quite insecure about this (even men who have been in a relationship for years), which is why these three words work like magic.
“Take me. Right now”
Suppose you are both turned on, then a sentence like this can do wonders.
Do not expect to be cuddling and kissing for long…
So turn off the music…
Quench the romantic scented candles…
And do exactly what you have just told him.
“Faster, harder, deeper.”
Every man watches porn.
So there is nothing wrong with going along a little bit with the things he sees.
By telling him that he has to go faster, harder or deeper, you play on this fantasy.
In addition, you give him instructions to do what he likes, and nice as he is, he will follow your instructions with love.
“Honey, tonight it’s my rules”
Men are crazy about taking charge.
But occasionally they also like it when women take the lead.
So tell him once in a while that things are getting done according to your rules that night.
“Oh, honey…yes there…keep going.”
When he does something that you enjoy very much, let him know immediately.
Make sure he hears that you enjoy what he’s doing.
Tell him that is exactly the right place.
And above all:
Tell him he has to continue exactly like that.
“I find it so sexy when you hear what I enjoy…”
Most men are pretty quiet in bed, not because they enjoy it, but because there is nobody to tell them that sex is an expression.
If you want him to make more noise in bed then this is the way to get that done.
But if you do not want him to make (more) noise then move on to the next one.
“I want you to come inside me.”
This one is a bit tricky, since some men get a little bit “off” when a woman tells them to come.
But the majority of the men will only try harder to do this.
Fun for you and for him.
“That was the best sex that I ever had.”
Whether you like it or not, men want to be the best.
It is the competitive drive within a man and because of that he will undoubtedly be the best bed partner you have ever had.
Saying this gives him confirmation.
“I want to suck you empty right now.”
I know that some women absolutely do not like it.
Assuming that you enjoy it like he enjoys it – and so do it orally – it is very naughty and exciting to say that you enjoy sucking it.
Below is a list of common turn ons you may also want to try:
Dirty talk before sex:
“I’ve been thinking about you all day…”
“The way you look at me is so sexy”
“I want you so badly”
Dirty talk during sex:
“Oh darling that feels so good”
“You make me so wet”
“Fuck me harder, harder”
At least try these dirty talk examples to experiment with. Inventing new nasty talk guys like to hear is in fact quite easy.