The Introvert’s Guide to Dating

Sponsered by Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. Is there anything more treacherous to the introvert than the dating scene? I daresay there is not. I mean, look. You’ve got a group of people defined by their need to be alone trying to navigate a situation where the point is to not be alone. It’s just a little confusing. I wanna be with someone. Like one day a week. Maybe two. The introvert wants companionship but needs distance. The introvert wants a date but also needs to cancel the date on the day of. The introvert wants to be turned on but needs to turn off for a while. So what is the introvert supposed to do? They don’t want to be alone their whole life, just any time they need to be. So the introvert has a few options here. First, they could date a fellow introvert, which is risky. Because you might end up, you know, in a situation where you never see your significant other. Jordan: Hey, are you excited for our date tonight? Kelli: Actually, that’s why I was calling. Is it okay if we postpone to next week? I’m really sorry. Jordan: No, no, that’s perfectly fine! Actually, why don’t we just go ahead and cancel it altogether? I mean, who needs the pressure, right? Kelli: Oh my gosh, thank you. You’re the best boyfriend ever! The other option is to date an extrovert, which you might not be ready for. Big Head Kid: I just have so much energy when I’m close to you! Kelli: Oh, that’s nice. Big Head Kid: We just have such a connection! Kelli: Yeah… Big Head Kid: Oh hey, I invited some friends over, I hope that’s all right! Kelli: When? Big Head Kid: In five seconds! They’re at the door right now! Kelli: O-okay…! [groans] If only the introvert could have what I like to call the Hannah Montana. The best of both worlds. Jordan: Hi, honey, I’m here for our weekly check-in. Kelli: Hey boyfriend! I’m just finishing up my blog real quick. Jordan: I love your blog. I read it every day. Kelli: You’re the best boyfriend. Jordan: Hey, speaking of which, do you want to go out tonight? Kelli: Um… not tonight. Jordan: Okay. Well, let’s post a picture to Instagram, and then I’ll be on my way. Kelli: Okay! Lovely as this would be, this is not the world we live in. The dating world is confusing, heartbreaking, scary. You might end up being attracted to an extrovert – oh my gosh! That’s a lot of pressure. You like Relient K? I love that band! Josh: Yeah, that’s awesome! We seem to have a lot in common. Kelli: Yeah, we do. Josh: You know, Relient K is actually playing here in town tomorrow. Do you want to go? Kelli: [internal horror] But keep this in mind: Just as extroverts need introverts to remind them that it’s okay to chill for a minute, so introverts need extroverts to insure that they leave the house every once in a while, okay? Sometimes you need to go get groceries. There is a delicate balance here. We all need each other. [“Need Each Other” by Jordan Taylor plays] Aw, now that’s a great track! So I’m not saying that you have to date an extrovert, I’m just saying that if you happen to fall for one, that’s okay. It might be good for you, even. But at the same time, don’t try to be something you’re not just to get a significant other. Josh: Hey, you know, Relient K is actually playing here in town tomorrow! Do you want to go with me? Kelli: Yeah… crowds, that sounds fun! Planning things on short notice, that’s really fun! [laughter turns into crying] Look, I guess what I’m trying to say is you’re getting a little old, okay, at some point you’re going to have to start trying to put yourself out there. And it’s uncomfortable, okay? It can be awkward. But when you meet the right person, and you’re snuggled up on the couch with them watching your fifth consecutive episode of The Office, it’ll all be worth it. So just ask yourself this: What do you want in a significant other? Kelli: I want the Netflix, but without the chill. And the boyfriend is optional too. You know what, just give me Netflix. It’s fine. Oh… uh… that works too, I guess…? Stay tuned for a scene from our next episode. Guys, introverts may be quiet people, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a lot to say. If you’ve ever thought about starting your own website, or blog, where you can broadcast your thoughts and feelings from the safety of a keyboard, you need to check out Squarespace. It used to be very confusing and restricting to try and build a website online, but Squarespace has made it so simple. Guys, trust us. We have tried. Every which way to build a website. And Squarespace is indeed the easiest and best way to do it. They have award-winning templates that will have your site up and running in literally minutes. Plus, they have 24/7 customer service, ready to help you if you need it. So if you’ve wanted to start your own website or blog but never made the move, make it right now with Squarespace. And make sure you go to squarespace.com/cow because there you’re going to get 10% off your first purchase. So make your next move at squarespace.com/cow. Next week on Messy Mondays, Big Head Kid takes the Myers-Briggs personality test. Big Head Kid: Okay Dad, I finished the stupid quiz, what does it say? Dad: Son, this is incredible. Big Head Kid: What? Dad: It says you have the perfect personality type! Big Head Kid: Oh my gosh! Dad: It’s literally impossible to not like you because your personality is that attractive! Big Head Kid: I always knew it! I always knew it! Big Head Kid: I… always knew… it was a dream. Every single night! Curse me!