Getting Back Together With An Ex-Boyfriend
This is the one TRUE way of getting back together with an ex-boyfriend even if it seems hopeless – 9 simple tips
So, here you are, already on the third tub of your favorite ice cream, your mind going crazy with ways of getting back together with an ex-boyfriend. You spent your day binge watching series on Netflix. In the background you listen to songs from your break-up playlist, and tissues are strewn all over the place…
Believe me, I know a break-up can cause a lot of pain, both physically and mentally. The relationship with the man you are so much attached to is over.
But now, you want your ex back.
You miss him, and wish you could go back in time so you can be with him again.
Allow me to help you with getting back together with your ex-boyfriend. Not only that, in this article I also give you tips on the best things you do after a break-up.
In this article you will learn:
The most important secret to remember when thinking of getting back together with an ex-boyfriend
Why most men detest drama and how that will help you
3 things you must ABSOLUTELY not do if you want your ex back.
How social media can help you get your ex back
Why you want to be a zebra instead of a lion
Tip 1: Put yourself first
It is out between you and your boyfriend and you feel nauseated and devastated. Let me tell you what you need to do to get rid of this feeling; in addition, it will also help you getting back together with an ex-boyfriend.
Take a deep breath, exhale, stay calm and take a step back.
It may sound strange, but, there is a more important person you need to get back before getting your ex back. That person is no other than you yourself.
Let me explain. Only once you get yourself back on track will you be able to think clearly enough to take the necessary steps in getting back together with an ex-boyfriend successfully.
I know, this is easier said than done, and in order to help you, here are a few things you can do NOW that will make you feel a lot better.
Your body and mind are inextricably linked. If you put a big smile on your face and start to jump up and down, it is almost impossible to feel depressed.
Do not worry, I’m not going to ask you to jump up and down. What you have to do is move as much as possible. You only feel worse when you sit still all day and constantly keep thinking about how getting back together with an ex-boyfriend can be achieved.
You will feel better when exercising. Research shows that sports significantly reduces the risk of depression. If you continue to exercise a lot, the bad feeling of the break-up will disappear over time. In addition, sport naturally ensures that you will look better.
That is not only fun for yourself, but it can also help you get your ex back.
Use your own needs as a distraction
You’ve been together with someone for a while. Of course that time was great fun, but a relationship also means that you have to take one another into account.
One can get so involved in putting the other person’s needs above our own and in the process neglect ourselves. Now that you have more time on your hands is the ideal time to work on those things you never got time for before. That said, make good use of the time before you get back in a relationship where once again your time will not be your own. Could happen sooner than you think…
Just think about it, you can do whatever you want without having to consider a partner (I know it sounds selfish, “me time” is important though). Give it some thought and remind yourself of the things you used to do for fun. Maybe you like reading, going for long walks, visit a friend who lives in another state, etc. Do things that will assist in dealing with a break-up, and see them as stepping stones to a better you, especially when you decide to do things you’ve never done before.
And that, dear reader, is not only pleasant for yourself but also makes you more attractive to your ex, or other men who are lucky enough to meet you.
Put distance between yourself your ex
Listen, I understand you want your ex back and as promised I will certainly help you with that. It is however very important to put some distance between yourself and your ex-boyfriend.
You’re on drugs.
Or, more accurately, your brain is on the drugs. When you are in love with someone and you all of a sudden have a break-up, you just cannot think clearly.
Should you decide to call your ex while intoxicated with liquor, hoping to get the relationship fixed, is just about the dumbest thing you can do.
Remove your ex (temporarily) from your phone, keep your distance and avoid all contact.
But what if you bump into him? Very simple. Think of the KISS (Keep It Short & Simple) technique. In short: keep it short, keep it simple and do not discuss your relationship or the break-up.
Contacting your ex is something you will do at a later stage, and I will further down explain how best to do this; now however is not the time.
Tip 2: How to get your ex back by doing less
It’s out with your ex, you feel terrible and now you’re actively trying to win him back.
You constantly send him messages, you long for his attention and try to see him as often as possible. Strangely enough, after a while you notice he is more distant; and he no longer has to make any effort.
In fact, because you are desperate and constantly trying to get his attention, it makes him feel more powerful. In this instance you really want the roles turned around. You can do this by applying the tips from tip 1 above.
If you play it well, after a while the following will happen…
He will not hear from you at all. Eventually he will start to wonder how you are doing. Because you are busy with other things and have taken a step back, you give him the time to miss YOU. Then one day it happens that he bumps into you and sees that you:
Look better because you do a lot of sports
Became a better person because you have continued to develop yourself
You have no need of him, and so he just has to prove himself to you again
Instead of running after your ex, you will see that after a while he runs after you again. And that is of course much better than the other way around.
Tip 3: Think back on the break-up
If getting back together with your ex-boyfriend is what you want, there is an essential thing you will have to do. In order to do this thing, you have to go back in time.
Imagine a time machine. Set the time machine to the moment of the break-up. I understand you would rather not go back to this time, but it is necessary if you want to restore your relationship. You do this so you can determine where things went wrong.
It is important to set aside your pride and think about what you specifically have done wrong. Think about why he broke up with you. What did he say when he broke up? Did you give him too little attention, hurt his ego or maybe you didn’t listen well?
Whatever it is, it is extremely important to know what your share in the break-up has been. Read more on what men want in a woman, it may help you in discovering your own part in the break-up
If you now think now: It was all his fault, then I have painful news for you…He probably thinks it’s all your fault. The truth must therefore be somewhere in the middle.
It is important to take responsibility and think about the part you played in making him break up with you, even if you think it is all his fault. If you can identify this, you can rectify it and ensure that you do not make the same mistake should you get him back. This information will also be useful if you ever bump into another nice man.
There is one very important thing that you have to remember with this tip…Never ask him, while you feel emotional, and there is no new positive contact together, what exactly went wrong …
First of all, you want to ensure that you build a positive contact and attraction together again, and once the relationship is better, you can together discuss what went wrong in the past and how to prevent it.
So check with yourself what went wrong and fix that error. Only then will it be possible getting back together with an ex-boyfriend
Tip 4: Avoid soap opera scenes if getting back together with an ex-boyfriend is what you want!
Have you ever noticed how many more women than men watch soap operas? Most men would stay home for the football match, but very few will make sure they’re home for the latest episode of the latest soap.
This is very important to remember if you want your ex back. By that I do not mean that from now on you will have to follow every football match, what I mean is this: be very aware of the fact that men are allergic to drama.
Calling him crying and desperately asking him why it is out is a very bad idea. Even if you know how to control your emotions, it is still a bad idea to meet with him “because you want clarity”
Most men know that is going to be one tough conversation, and they have no idea how to deal with drama…they’re actually scared to death.
I’ll tell you a secret: Men like to keep things simple. He did it and it’s done. Dramatic scenes will only cause him to distance himself even more.
There are many better ways in getting back together with an ex-boyfriend. Read on…
Tip 5: Change from lion to zebra
Choosing between a lion and a zebra is an easy choice. At least for me. I would rather not be eaten, so I choose to be a lion. However, if you want to get your ex back, you have to become a zebra…
Allow me to explain.
Lions run hard to catch the zebra. Just like some people start running after their ex when they want him back. But, you want HIM to run after YOU and not the other way around.
You can do this in the following ways:
Make it clear to him that you’re done with him
He does not want a relationship anymore? Fine by you, he must know then, it is really done. Break any contact and stay away. He does not know what he is missing. Because you suddenly keep your distance and make no contact will ensure he wants to come back
Challenge him when you see him
If you bump into your ex, flirt with him. Challenge him. Make sure you drive him crazy.
Think back to the first date
Remember your first date? Remember how nice you were then? He fell madly in love with you. To unleash this feeling in him again, behave exactly as you did in the beginning of your relationship, every time you see him. If you get the chance, mention some old memories from the first dates with him. When he starts thinking about it, the same feelings he experienced on the first date will come back to him.
Do these things and in a matter of time he will start running after you like a lion again.
Tip 6: Carefully start making contact with him
Before you contact him again, there are a few important things to remember. Unless you are completely over the break-up, DO NOT contact your ex-boyfriend. Make sure you have no more hang-ups over the break-up.
Assuming you are confident that you harbour no more resentment over what happened, you can now try to contact him in a very casual way. Do not announce that you want him back or discuss the break-up. A simple message like: “Hey, I happen to be in the neighborhood. Do you feel like drinking something? J” is enough to get in touch with him again. Make it look like a spontaneous idea.
Keep these things in mind when you contact him:
- Keep it casual and cozy at all times
- Try to create an atmosphere similar to what you had on the first date
- Try to charm him like you did when you first met one another
Once the atmosphere is pleasant and you are both at ease, you can ask very carefully, objectively and casually where things went wrong.
Once you have asked, listen carefully to his story and respect him. Do not get angry over the reason he gives and do not start to defend yourself like a madwoman. A quarrel is the last thing you want during your time together.
Tip 7: Use social media to your advantage
Imagine your ex is on Facebook. Bored he scrolls through his newsfeed. Nothing interesting.
Suddenly he sees one of the sexiest photos he has ever seen of you. He cannot resist clicking on your Facebook profile.
Scrolling through interesting photos and status updates he sees what a very interesting life you lead. Because cool messages about you appear in his newsfeed, he can hardly NOT think of you
You want to know the best part about this?
He constantly sees photos of you with other men. And you look so good! He becomes jealous, and wants to do nothing more than get in touch with you.
We live in the 21st century. Make good use of the technology available to assist you in getting back together with an ex-boyfriend. It is only a matter of time before he stands at your door again
Tip 8: Showing him how sexy you are is a knockout way in getting back together with an ex-boyfriend
It has been a while since you spoke to him. You have worked hard on yourself since the break-up. The many hours that you spent in the gym have paid off. You look even more attractive than you were
Out of nowhere he receives a picture of you, showing off your fantastic body.
A message like: Oops, was meant for someone else…is a fantastic addition to the picture.
Not only do you show him how sexy you are, but you also make him jealous.
By the way, once you have sent this to him, you keep silent. You do not start a conversation to the likes of “how are things with you?” Let him work for you, not the other way around.
Tip 9: Three things that you absolutely do not want to do in getting back together with your ex-boyfriend
You have enough tips to help you conquer the heart of your ex again. Of course you do not want to ruin it after all the effort.
To prevent that, I have three things here that you absolutely DO NOT want to do if you want your ex back.
Become friends with your ex
Never become friends unless you like tormenting yourself. After all, you want him back as your partner. If you stay friends with him, you will soon end up in the infamous ‘friend zone’. You will then have to watch how he enters into a relationship with a woman who is not you. In short: you either take him back as your partner or nothing at all. There is no reason to continue to torture yourself when there is no future with the guy.
Try to win him back with presents
Unfortunately, this often happens. Girls try getting back together with an ex-boyfriend by buying him (often expensive) gifts. Before you know it, he abuses your generosity. Not only will you be left behind with a broken heart, but also with an empty wallet.
Blaming him for the break-up
As discussed before, it is important to remember that you should never blame him for the break-up. This is a definite no-no if getting back together with an ex-boyfriend is what you want. I understand that partly it may be the case, but there is no point in continuing to hammer on this. You’ll only make him feel worse and he may end up not wanting to be with you. Be prepared to admit your own mistakes and work on improving them specifically.
Once you have your ex back, you want to make sure that he stays. In fact, you want to make sure that you are the only woman he thinks of. You want to make sure that he falls madly in love with you and never ever leaves you. Treasure the one you love, do not allow little foxes to destroy your relationship…you do not want to once again seek help in getting back together with an ex-boyfriend!